


Les Meow

by mayormadeleinerobin



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Cat AU, Gen, M/M, but they come back to life, everyone is kittens, there are mentions of dead animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 12:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2651894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayormadeleinerobin/pseuds/mayormadeleinerobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jehan tells the other kittens a dramatic candle-lit story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Les Meow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mymotheristherepublic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymotheristherepublic/gifts), [thoodleoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoodleoo/gifts).



> I am so sorry to Victor Hugo. Thank you to my wonderful friend emotionally-ready for the title. Written for my lovely RP partners mymotheristherepublic, who plays Jehan and Feuilly, and thoodleoo, who plays Grantaire. 
> 
> As mentioned, there are mentions of a cat and a dog being dead. They come back. There are also mentions of Enjolras' human owners being unkind. (They never actually hurt Enjolras, because cats should not get hurt, but. Upsetting cats is also bad. Don't upset cats.) There are also mentions of the cat brain-altering affects of catnip.

Jehan meowed plaintively at the candle a few times, before moving his back legs down a bit so he could light himself most dramatically with the candle. Joly looked a bit nervous. “I hear that whiskers can’t grow back, Jehan!” he mewled. He knew very well that they did, but Jehan and Grantaire didn’t have to know that. Grantaire picked Jehan up by the nape of his neck and moved him back a few inches. Jehan purred at him in thanks and brushed his tail against his friend.

"Now, friends…" Jehan began, before being cut off by Grantaire and Joly meowing "FUR-ends!" at the same time. He hissed quietly and started again. "Now. Fur-ends. Would you like to hear the story of how a ferocious lion…”

"Don’t stereotype non-house cats as violent, Jehan." Enjolras meowed. Jehan didn’t even see Enjolras and Feuilly in the corner. He meowed "Enjolras…fine. A small, yet ferocious, calico kitten." back. Joly purred quietly, as he was a small calico kitten. It made him happy to think that people might one day stop scratching his head and cooing at him while he was trying to do science. Enjolras purred back slightly, happy that Jehan had fixed it and made Joly so happy. 

"A small, yet ferocious, calico kitten, who tried to figure out how to raise his beloved cat-friend back from the dead." Jehan finished.

Grantaire hissed. “All of your stories are about reanimating corpses, or tragic death by some illness, or catnip-induced altered consciousness, dear friend. I’m bored of that.”

Joly tapped his paw against Grantaire’s head and butted against him. “R, my friend, please. This one will be different. It has a calico. And one just like me!” he purred. "You never read about calicos like me."

Annoyed, Jehan continued. Grantaire didn’t like corpses? Well. This one would have two corpses. And one would be a dog. “There were actually two friends that he was trying to bring back! One, a very rude but very lovable tabby cat” - here he looked at Grantaire, who looked at his stripes then glared at Jehan - “and a beautiful Dalmatian puppy.”

Feuilly purred from the back of the room. He loved stories where animals all cooperated, especially cats and dogs. “I love this story, Jehan. I’d like you to continue.” he meowed. Enjolras meowed in agreement. 

Jehan purred back at Feuilly in thanks. “Now, this calico was extremely intelligent. He had an assistant cat, a beautiful Persian cat, with a sleek coat…”

He self-consciously mewed here. Enjolras was quietly asking Feuilly if that cat was meant to be Combeferre, and Feuilly placed his paw on Enjolras’ head, telling Enjolras that it wasn’t important.

Jehan had hoped his affections weren’t so obvious, and quickly continued. “So. This assistant and he figured out a way to restart the electrical signals in the brain.”

He looked to Joly, who meowed “I hope they started with the medulla oblongata this time. Last time, you had them start in the prefrontal cortex, which is very important, but not necessary. A human man lost his and lived, and they seem to rely on theirs more than we do. I think it’s why we’re so much better than them. That, and too much cortex in general. Everycat knows that too little reliance on the amygdala…” 

Joly stopped meowing about the brain when Grantaire wrestled him down and meowed “Joly, I don’t ever want to hear about how catnip affects the amygdala and that hypothing again!”, and Jehan continued, after Joly was done pushing Grantaire back up.

"They restarted the electrical signals in the medulla oblongata, then other parts of the brain as they ranked them in importance. Then, the cat, which they revived first, started to move! However, there was an unintended consequence. You see, this cat had been changed by his death, and no longer wanted to do normal cat things." he meowed. He paused for dramatic effect and moved closer to the candle. It hurt his eyes terribly, so he decided against that. Instead, he simply moved the candle closer to Joly and Grantaire, careful not to get any hot wax on his fur.

"When will the dog be okay?" Feuilly mewed. 

Jehan purred at him reassuringly. “The dog is next. Shall I skip to where the dog is brought back, then come back? The dog is perfectly fine, I assure you. She’s not been dead for as long, so she still has minimal damage to her body. Joly complained last time that brain and tissue damage would be difficult to fix. Anyway, they have done the same thing to the dog. She gets up and runs about, thanking the lovely kittens. The Persian kitten goes out with her and runs tests on her, which she passes. The calico kitten stays with the tabby.”

"I hope you’re not going to equate brain differences with something awful." Enjolras mewed. Enjolras was often upset by those implications, as former owners had frequently been harsh when Enjolras did not want to do what they thought cats were supposed to. They never hurt Enjolras, however, but the kitten was still easily upset by this.

Jehan ran over to Enjolras and Feuilly and sat between them, being sure to brush them both calmingly a little. “Do not worry, my friend. This cat has in fact decided to free the other cats of the tyranny of human ownership, and wishes them to all live freely, as all cats have the natural right to do.”

Enjolras purred at him and smiled. “I like this story. Please continue.” Enjolras pointedly looked at Grantaire, who was hissing slightly. Grantaire might have meowed about how humans gave comfortable homes to cats, but Enjolras decided not to pursue it, since Jehan had been interrupted quite enough.

"The tabby joined with the calico and the Persian kittens. The Persian kitten went to his Turkish Van kitten roommate and said roommate's short-furred friend, who both were pleased to join."

Joly and Grantaire had, at this point, walked over and curled close to the other kittens. Grantaire was carrying the candle in his mouth, and Joly was batting away the hot wax. Joly purred sleepily at the others and Jehan smiled and continued. He knew it was getting late for Joly, who often slept before the others.

"They joined with the dog, and freed all the animals from their human owners. The cats and dogs formed a new society together, with many advancements in animal medicine, interanimal relations, and the like." 

All the cats purred at the end and curled against Jehan. Joly and Grantaire kept trying to climb higher onto everyone, but were stopped by Enjolras climbing up quickly and refusing to move, effectively stopping them. All the kittens purred about their ideals to each other, and fell asleep still cuddling at daybreak.

**Author's Note:**

> A) Yes, I know the genetics of calicos. This was intentional.  
> B) Unfortunately, I am only a human neuroscientist, and a beginner one at that. Sorry if my cat-science is wrong in any way. If you know any neuroscience, look it up, cause it's super interesting!  
> C) This was from this post: http://achilleus.co.vu/post/103206235948/shredsandpatches-caitallolovesyou. Sorry I can't link to OP, they've deactivated :(  
> D) I hope you like this! It's not edited or anything, I just kind of posted it here for fun. Tell me if there are any awful glaring errors.  
> E) I feel like I should apologize to the impossibly small Jehan/Combeferre fandom. I know our tag rarely updates, and you're all probably hugely disappointed to have this instead of a real fic for them.


End file.
